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Coming out stories and Gay/Lesbian Discussion LGBT

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Re: Coming out stories and Gay/Lesbian Discussion LGBT

Post by Luu Sky Sapphire on Sun Nov 11, 2012 11:51 pm

depression76 wrote:*grabs piko piko hammer and hits Luu with it

/*o*\ What was that for, Ran Kotobuki?!

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Re: Coming out stories and Gay/Lesbian Discussion LGBT

Post by Luu Sky Sapphire on Tue Dec 04, 2012 11:57 am

bump

Bumped to hear some opinions on something I read about last night.

So...how about that Heterosexual awareness month? Trollface

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When Shizuru said "Ara" for the first time, the "Ara" broke into a thousand pieces and they all went skipping about. That was the beginning of fairies.

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Re: Coming out stories and Gay/Lesbian Discussion LGBT

Post by Daichi148 on Tue Dec 04, 2012 1:10 pm

Well, Im bisexual, but I'm more comfortable in dating with girls. Is interersante dating guys, but it has happened to me in most cases. Only interested in a bed. and when they want something beyond. They are quick to saturate my patience. whether they call me incessantly. O come all the time asking where am I? with who.
Interestingly very manly guys like me, who have repeatedly been possessive. maybe that's why I prefer girls

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Re: Coming out stories and Gay/Lesbian Discussion LGBT

Post by shezaei-neko on Tue Dec 04, 2012 3:03 pm

Heterosexual awareness month??
That's a huge piece of crap.
It's insulting for all the LGBT community.
It's as if you created the Catholic awareness month...it'd be as insulting to other religions.

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Re: Coming out stories and Gay/Lesbian Discussion LGBT

Post by Cheshire Kat on Tue Dec 04, 2012 3:58 pm

shezaei-neko wrote:Heterosexual awareness month??
That's a huge piece of crap.
It's insulting for all the LGBT community.
It's as if you created the Catholic awareness month...it'd be as insulting to other religions.

What Shezaei said.

fack it. No one has ever been oppressed for being a heterosexual.

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Re: Coming out stories and Gay/Lesbian Discussion LGBT

Post by depression76 on Tue Dec 04, 2012 6:28 pm

Hetero awareness month?
Don't we have that like every 12 months of the year?

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Re: Coming out stories and Gay/Lesbian Discussion LGBT

Post by shezaei-neko on Tue Dec 04, 2012 10:14 pm

Apparently not...

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Re: Coming out stories and Gay/Lesbian Discussion LGBT

Post by Luu Sky Sapphire on Tue Dec 04, 2012 11:07 pm

It's flattering to me. :) Such a month isn't needed though. I can speak for every heterosexual on the planet (me being the biggest heterosexual that ever lived) that we'll ALWAYS be accepted by parents, friends, bullies and overall society.

Stop wasting our time and help people who actually need awareness.

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Re: Coming out stories and Gay/Lesbian Discussion LGBT

Post by shezaei-neko on Wed Dec 05, 2012 3:16 pm

Ditto.

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Re: Coming out stories and Gay/Lesbian Discussion LGBT

Post by Luu Sky Sapphire on Wed Dec 05, 2012 7:06 pm

There is some good news lately though:

American Psychiatric Association to stop classifying transgender people as having a mental illness

The revisions to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders mirrors similar moves to declassify homosexuality as a mental illness in the USA in 1973.

Until now “gender identity disorder” was used to label people who are trans and this has been used as a basis for anti-equality campaigners to argue against the rights of trans people.

The new edition of Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders will label trans people as having “Gender Dysphoria,” a term to communicate the distress caused by “a marked incongruence between one’s experienced/expressed gender and assigned gender.” The aim is so that treatment can be offered without stigmatizing trans people as having a mental disorder.

Temple University psychology professor Frank Farley told CBS News that even though the change is an improvement; it’s not complete. “Significant decisions are made about people in the courts, in the mental health system, with insurers so we want it to be absolutely impeccable and so some of these aspects are not particularly solid science,” he said.

Last year, the European Parliament has passed a resolution calling for the World Health Organization to stop classifying transgender people as mentally ill.

‘Gender identity disorder’ is currently classified as a ‘mental and behavioral disorder’ in the WHO’s International Classification of Diseases.

Many transgender people and clinicians prefer to use the term ‘gender dysphoria’. While the causes are not yet known, research has suggested genetic and hormonal reasons.

The WHO’s International Classification of Diseases is currently under review with the next list to be finalized in 2015.

Until 1990, the body classed homosexuality as a mental illness.


Improvement. Every little bit counts. Gay Rainbow

_________________
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When Shizuru said "Ara" for the first time, the "Ara" broke into a thousand pieces and they all went skipping about. That was the beginning of fairies.

Luu Sky Sapphire
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Re: Coming out stories and Gay/Lesbian Discussion LGBT

Post by Daichi148 on Thu Dec 06, 2012 12:47 am

Well... I can read this and I find it a little bit familiar. I consider myself not with dysphoria. Because my biological gender and gender my mind, are not as unequal ...
I should also say that I like playing with the issues of masculine and feminine, it amuses me when people do not even know how to talk to me, referring to me as a boy or girl. I always say, do not worry, it's the same ... I think you bind a man or a woman or gay or bisexual or asexual or lesbian or transgender or transsexual or whatever you want. I'm just a person. With so many flaws and virtues as we're here ...
Yesterday I was talking to my teacher of drawing and she said this is neither good nor bad is just something that is there.

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Re: Coming out stories and Gay/Lesbian Discussion LGBT

Post by Luu Sky Sapphire on Thu Dec 06, 2012 3:06 pm

Daichi148 wrote:Well... I can read this and I find it a little bit familiar. I consider myself not with dysphoria. Because my biological gender and gender my mind, are not as unequal ...
I should also say that I like playing with the issues of masculine and feminine, it amuses me when people do not even know how to talk to me, referring to me as a boy or girl. I always say, do not worry, it's the same ... I think you bind a man or a woman or gay or bisexual or asexual or lesbian or transgender or transsexual or whatever you want. I'm just a person. With so many flaws and virtues as we're here ...
Yesterday I was talking to my teacher of drawing and she said this is neither good nor bad is just something that is there.

It doesn't matter in this case. I know exactly how I'd talk to you in person. I'd talk to you, as Luu Sky Sapphire talking to Daichi148. Dai is Dai. A person just like me.

Why society has trouble with something so simple, I'll never understand. Maybe like ookamidesu always says:

"Stupid people are stupid"


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When Shizuru said "Ara" for the first time, the "Ara" broke into a thousand pieces and they all went skipping about. That was the beginning of fairies.

Luu Sky Sapphire
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Re: Coming out stories and Gay/Lesbian Discussion LGBT

Post by GhibliFreek on Sat Dec 08, 2012 7:33 pm

Luu Sky Sapphire wrote:There is some good news lately though:

American Psychiatric Association to stop classifying transgender people as having a mental illness

The revisions to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders mirrors similar moves to declassify homosexuality as a mental illness in the USA in 1973.

Until now “gender identity disorder” was used to label people who are trans and this has been used as a basis for anti-equality campaigners to argue against the rights of trans people.

The new edition of Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders will label trans people as having “Gender Dysphoria,” a term to communicate the distress caused by “a marked incongruence between one’s experienced/expressed gender and assigned gender.” The aim is so that treatment can be offered without stigmatizing trans people as having a mental disorder.

Temple University psychology professor Frank Farley told CBS News that even though the change is an improvement; it’s not complete. “Significant decisions are made about people in the courts, in the mental health system, with insurers so we want it to be absolutely impeccable and so some of these aspects are not particularly solid science,” he said.

Last year, the European Parliament has passed a resolution calling for the World Health Organization to stop classifying transgender people as mentally ill.

‘Gender identity disorder’ is currently classified as a ‘mental and behavioral disorder’ in the WHO’s International Classification of Diseases.

Many transgender people and clinicians prefer to use the term ‘gender dysphoria’. While the causes are not yet known, research has suggested genetic and hormonal reasons.

The WHO’s International Classification of Diseases is currently under review with the next list to be finalized in 2015.

Until 1990, the body classed homosexuality as a mental illness.


Improvement. Every little bit counts. Gay Rainbow

While at first glance this may seem great, this development is actually majorly problematic in many cases due to the fact it is only classified as a dysphoria now.
This article explains the issue in full http://www.huffingtonpost.com/chase-strangio/gender-identity-disorder-dsm_b_2247081.html
but long story short, it is actually harder now to guarantee treatment and care for Transsexuals due to legal loopholes that have been created.

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Re: Coming out stories and Gay/Lesbian Discussion LGBT

Post by Daichi148 on Sun Dec 09, 2012 6:54 pm

I confess that more than one time
I thought about using hormones...
but all the hormones in my country (and as far as I have researched) cause secondary effects that are not pleasant. Also, my body think it is more androgynous. I think regulation is needed in addition to the legal part. and the specialized medical services.

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Re: Coming out stories and Gay/Lesbian Discussion LGBT

Post by Luu Sky Sapphire on Mon Dec 10, 2012 11:12 pm

GhibliFreek wrote:
While at first glance this may seem great, this development is actually majorly problematic in many cases due to the fact it is only classified as a dysphoria now.
This article explains the issue in full http://www.huffingtonpost.com/chase-strangio/gender-identity-disorder-dsm_b_2247081.html
but long story short, it is actually harder now to guarantee treatment and care for Transsexuals due to legal loopholes that have been created.

What's the situation really like at the moment in the U.K. In your opinion anyway, Freek?

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When Shizuru said "Ara" for the first time, the "Ara" broke into a thousand pieces and they all went skipping about. That was the beginning of fairies.

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Re: Coming out stories and Gay/Lesbian Discussion LGBT

Post by GhibliFreek on Tue Dec 11, 2012 2:55 pm

Oops kind of a huge rant
Spoiler:

In all honesty the younger you get reccomended to Gender Therapy here the better. They take children's cases a lot more seriously. I'm fortunate to be still considered a young adult, so I'm seen by the young-persons team for this. It's not a bad system all things considered, but it's very time consuming and costly. Yes I do get to see them for free and tests, prescriptions and stuff is free. But the travel is horrendous. I'm spending £20/30 a month to see this team, that's nearly my entire months petrol budget. You can claim this back,but the paperwork is just as annoying, and I have filed for this twice, still nothing back. Thank you NHS for getting back to me when you can see I'm already having financial issues.

Also, the time frame is absolutely ridiculous in some cases. I only just had tests done Monday for me to start hormone blockers, something which at this stage in my life and physical development really aren't of much use. I'm still not looking at starting testosterone until 2013 realistically, and that's counting all my tests come back good. To put this in perspective, I started Gender Therapy beginning of the year. I've had about eleven appointments with these people, and they have only just given me my "official" diagnosis.

If I went private, by now I would most likely be on Testosterone for a good 3/4 months. But I'd of had to pay an extortionate amount (£4/500) just for the appointments. I did honestly look at these after the fourth month, but I don't have that sort of money.

In some aspects it is better, but overall it has so many flaws. It focuses too much on typical NHS mental counselling and therapy, which seems to think just talking things out can make it better. For example I mentioned about 3 months ago I have anxiety issues, they referred me to what is known as CAMHS (which is a child/young adult therapy thing) My appointment isn't until February next year. And this was a priority Appointment. It was the same when I was younger and was suffering from severe depression and was self harming. I had to wait a year for my appointment. The booklet they gave me told me to try find other things to take my mind of my thoughts, find a new hobby.....slightflawthereI'mkindofwantingtodie????? They honestly don't think about how a twelve year old would react, and they still don't think about how this sort of thing could affect me, a 17 year old.

I've heard stuff from other guys in various places, and in all honesty Australia seems like the best place to be if you have this condition. It's hilarious really how I'm on the opposite side of the world.

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Re: Coming out stories and Gay/Lesbian Discussion LGBT

Post by Daichi148 on Thu Dec 13, 2012 2:15 pm

In mexico attempts are being made, to reform the law. clinician will make a plan to follow a hormone. Most products are illegal, ranging between 200 and 5000 peso, depending on the formula, provenance, or will produce results, there are also specialized sexologists, but is very rare.

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Re: Coming out stories and Gay/Lesbian Discussion LGBT

Post by IlliterateKoi on Thu Dec 13, 2012 4:22 pm

GhibliFreek wrote:Oops kind of a huge rant
Spoiler:

In all honesty the younger you get reccomended to Gender Therapy here the better. They take children's cases a lot more seriously. I'm fortunate to be still considered a young adult, so I'm seen by the young-persons team for this. It's not a bad system all things considered, but it's very time consuming and costly. Yes I do get to see them for free and tests, prescriptions and stuff is free. But the travel is horrendous. I'm spending £20/30 a month to see this team, that's nearly my entire months petrol budget. You can claim this back,but the paperwork is just as annoying, and I have filed for this twice, still nothing back. Thank you NHS for getting back to me when you can see I'm already having financial issues.

Also, the time frame is absolutely ridiculous in some cases. I only just had tests done Monday for me to start hormone blockers, something which at this stage in my life and physical development really aren't of much use. I'm still not looking at starting testosterone until 2013 realistically, and that's counting all my tests come back good. To put this in perspective, I started Gender Therapy beginning of the year. I've had about eleven appointments with these people, and they have only just given me my "official" diagnosis.

If I went private, by now I would most likely be on Testosterone for a good 3/4 months. But I'd of had to pay an extortionate amount (£4/500) just for the appointments. I did honestly look at these after the fourth month, but I don't have that sort of money.

In some aspects it is better, but overall it has so many flaws. It focuses too much on typical NHS mental counselling and therapy, which seems to think just talking things out can make it better. For example I mentioned about 3 months ago I have anxiety issues, they referred me to what is known as CAMHS (which is a child/young adult therapy thing) My appointment isn't until February next year. And this was a priority Appointment. It was the same when I was younger and was suffering from severe depression and was self harming. I had to wait a year for my appointment. The booklet they gave me told me to try find other things to take my mind of my thoughts, find a new hobby.....slightflawthereI'mkindofwantingtodie????? They honestly don't think about how a twelve year old would react, and they still don't think about how this sort of thing could affect me, a 17 year old.

I've heard stuff from other guys in various places, and in all honesty Australia seems like the best place to be if you have this condition. It's hilarious really how I'm on the opposite side of the world.

I can definitely sympathise with the waiting for appointments thing -- I was on the priority waiting list to see a counsellor for 6 months, and in the end I only got to see someone when I put myself in hospital, which I'm assuming bumped me up to the top of the list. It's ridiculous that it had to get to that point before I could see anyone, and by that point they couldn't help me anyway and I had to be referred to a psychologist instead.

But I suppose there are just a lot of people needing the service and I'm not sure what they can realistically do about it.

As for the waiting in regards to hormone treatment I have to agree that the process seems stupidly long in some cases and the cost of going private is far too expensive for most people. I know a couple of my friends had to wait years before they could start hormones :/ I hope you don't have to wait much longer than you are currently anticipating Ghibli : (

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Re: Coming out stories and Gay/Lesbian Discussion LGBT

Post by Wolf-of-Wind on Wed Jan 02, 2013 5:47 am

When it comes to my parents and my friends, I just out right said it and there hasn't been any issues or anything. Some of my friends say that they don't really care whether I'm gay or not, and say their okay talking with me about it (though they seem to change subject rather quickly...)
My parents don't mind. They just worry because they know it's a harder lifestyle.
My sister... it was hard to tell her. I actually waited to tell her about two years after I decided that I was a lesbian, and by then I had already told my parents and my closest friends. When actually went out to eat at her favorite restaurant -- just the two of us -- and we sat down and talked for a little while. I paused, nervous, and told her that I had something I needed to tell her. I hesitated, but ended up telling her. She was surprised, asked me if I was joking, and simply processed, but she's perfectly fine with it. She was kinda miffed that I waited so long to tell her, though :)
She told me later that when I hesitated before telling her, she almost said, jokingly, "What? Are you gay or something?"
She was glad that she hadn't said that. We had a good laugh about it later. :)
I still haven't told my brother and his wife yet... Not sure when that's gonna happen.

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Re: Coming out stories and Gay/Lesbian Discussion LGBT

Post by GhibliFreek on Wed Jan 02, 2013 4:27 pm

I was worried about Christmas, especially after only recently explaining my situation to my nana.
But you know what, for the most part it was Facking awesome...
I got all but one card with my (now legally changed) name on it.
And tht was only from people I haven't told, so I didn't expect it (besides they're sweet and adorable and they even sent me £10)
But one thing that ticked me off immensely? Having to go over one of my Aunt's and then listening to her and her mother calling me the wrong name, using the wrong pronouns...and I got a card from my nanny saying ' To my "almost" grandson' on the front. Did she really need to add that?
My dysphoria has been pretty shit since that day but you know what, fack it I have my appointment for the end of january to go see the therapists about these Facking Hormone Blockers.

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Re: Coming out stories and Gay/Lesbian Discussion LGBT

Post by *BlackRose* on Wed Jan 02, 2013 10:10 pm

I came out to my family it was real easy to it just that there reactions were not what I expected heres how it went
Me: mom im gay
Mom: ok but if they don't buy you dinner then they have the clap
Brother: yep they ether have the clap or blue waffle
Me: O.O you can't just say that if they don't bu
Mom: wait whats Blue Waffle
Me:O.O
Brother: O.O It's when a women **************** (refuse to put what he said)
Mom: well anyway if they don't buy you dinner they have the clap or blue waffle
and thats how our conversation ended sweatdrop

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Re: Coming out stories and Gay/Lesbian Discussion LGBT

Post by Daichi148 on Wed Jan 02, 2013 11:34 pm

*BlackRose* wrote:I came out to my family it was real easy to it just that there reactions were not what I expected heres how it went
Me: mom im gay
Mom: ok but if they don't buy you dinner then they have the clap
Brother: yep they ether have the clap or blue waffle
Me: O.O you can't just say that if they don't bu
Mom: wait whats Blue Waffle
Me:O.O
Brother: O.O It's when a women **************** (refuse to put what he said)
Mom: well anyway if they don't buy you dinner they have the clap or blue waffle
and thats how our conversation ended sweatdrop

well ... my mother told me:
already told you that I fight with my boss at work?

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Re: Coming out stories and Gay/Lesbian Discussion LGBT

Post by Grawrr on Wed Jan 09, 2013 5:11 am

This quite the interesting topic.

I'm 21, almost 22, I finally came out 2 hours ago.. My father is indifferent about that kind of thing. Now my mom.. She hates them, her views are only a man and a woman should be together. It's to be expected of her. Considering that until she was 14 her religion was Jehovah's Witness. She left that religion, but still has those views on it. So my mom's side of the family shares that view. Their attitude towards homosexuality is similar to essentially all other conservative religious groups. They require that both homosexual behavior and feelings be suppressed. That is:
-Gays and lesbians must remain celibate.
-Bisexuals must not engage in same-sex behavior.
-Any opposite-sex behavior must be restricted to one man and one woman who are married to each other.
-Jesus' stated that to obsessively lust after another person is to commit adultery with them in your heart. Conservative Christian groups generally ignore the term "obsessively;" it does not appear in Bible translations, even though it is in the original Greek. Thus they expect a gay or lesbian to suppress or distract themselves from their desire, longing, feelings of attraction, love, sexual fantasies etc. towards others of the same sex.
-The WTS would not recognize a same-sex marriage as legitimizing two sexually active men or two women living together.

I was always attracted to women, even when I was young. I was also attracted to men, I even dated some, though they never lasted long. However, with men it's just attraction, nothing more. I mean there are some good looking fellows out there, but does that mean I wanna pounce on them? No. Unfortunately, due to my mother unintentionally(?) drilling in my head that men and women should be together. Also constantly asking me do you have a boyfriend, he's cute, is he your boyfriend. My family members would also ask me that question. Lots of times I just wanted to scream I PREFER WOMEN! But that wouldn't have ended well. I became ashamed of myself for my preference. I started dating men, hoping that maybe I'd grow to love men more. It sounds horrible, but I did have a interest in them when I dated, yet it never went beyond that. No desire and no attraction to do anything, plus other reasons got in the way. I am a rape victim, men I always felt uncomfortable dating them and all that. It just shows how much I wanted to fit into my family. My ex-girlfriend helped me accept that it happened, but the fear is still there, and I'm sure it will always be. Then there's the guilt that drove me crazy. I've only dated 2 men in grade 11. They only lasted 1-2 weeks. One guy ended it himself. He wanted a girl to satisfy his needs. I told him I wasn't ready for that stuff, he still tried to stick his hand down my pants. So I punched him, he said it's over and walked away. He stole my line. Later on in grade 11, I met a girl through a friend.. We ended up getting together and stayed together for almost 2 years. During that time I wanted to tell them, but just couldn't. My fear would always stop me, so I kept my mouth shut. When that relationshit went to hell, my desire to tell them just disappeared. About.. 7 months ago I met a someone at work, I had taken an interest in him. He was a really sweet, caring guy. He asked me out, I said no. I told him of my preferences, also other issues regarding men. He was kind about it, and offered to take it slow. Not dating just kind of introducing me into it I guess you could say. It didn't work, he accepted that.

Now the coming out story.. I still live with my parents, several issues came up regarding moving out. Anywho, I always knew that out of my parents, my mom would be the harder one to come out to. My dad is outta town for work. My mom is home and her twin came over to visit. We all had some drinks, well them more than I. I was contemplating telling them about it. I knew that if my aunt was there it'd be easier, yet I was still hesitating. My mom is a fan of Tegan and Sara, who are openly gay. Their song Closer came on, so I took that as a sign. I told them that Tegan and Sara are gay. We got into debate about it. They both said that a man and a woman should be together. I told them, that I believe if you really click with someone, gender shouldn't matter.. My belief is how I am. My mom was trying to persuade me saying lady fumi believes man and woman blah blah. My eyes started tearing up because I hated seeing my mom cry, very few things can make her cry, it just hurt that this was one of them. My aunt shares those beliefs like my mom, but my gut about having her there was right. She was the voice of reason between my mom and I. She said that even though we may not understand it, there are others like her. I understand what you are going through, but just think of what your daughter is dealing with, having kept this in for so long. She is still the Jackie we know and love. Your daughter is still the same, this doesn't change anything. My mom agreed with her, and told me I always had a suspicion you were, but it's different hearing you say it, you know how I am, I just need time to get my head around it.


And ta-da that was well that. Arika Yumemiya

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Re: Coming out stories and Gay/Lesbian Discussion LGBT

Post by Kuga Natsuki on Wed Jan 09, 2013 5:19 am

What a story! I admire you :) You're a strong lady, Grawrr pokemon

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Re: Coming out stories and Gay/Lesbian Discussion LGBT

Post by Grawrr on Wed Jan 09, 2013 5:25 am

I don't think I'm strong at all, but thank you for your kind words! :D

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Re: Coming out stories and Gay/Lesbian Discussion LGBT

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