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The Ima no Kimochi wa nani?! or What are you feeling RIGHT NOW?! PART 9

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Re: The Ima no Kimochi wa nani?! or What are you feeling RIGHT NOW?! PART 9

Post by Break String SpinElf on Fri Apr 07, 2017 8:25 am

Right now, I'm feeling extremely fortunate to live in a country which has free access to healthcare for all.

@ Lerena: I'm saddened to read what you're going through. I have some passing knowledge of the value of adjunct medication in treating MDD and am, frankly, pretty angry about the fact that you're being denied a medication which you very obviously need.
As for exercise, I'm not sure about its feasibility but I'd recommend walking as a form of exercise. Of course, depression being the bastard affliction that it is, it might not be an option at present, particularly given your current circumstances but, perhaps, in the future, it might be an option?

@ Shadow: I'm really admiring your resolve not to give in in the face of the obstacles which have appeared in your path. Like I said before, you've come a long way even in the six months or so that you've been around here. You also make some really good points in your post, some useful pointers for anyone who's struggling.
Please, please, PLEASE keep the faith - you have the strength within you to blast those obstacles out of your way - and I believe that you will.
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Re: The Ima no Kimochi wa nani?! or What are you feeling RIGHT NOW?! PART 9

Post by ShadowMikoto on Fri Apr 07, 2017 2:01 pm

Break String SpinElf wrote:Right now, I'm feeling extremely fortunate to live in a country which has free access to healthcare for all.

@ Lerena: I'm saddened to read what you're going through. I have some passing knowledge of the value of adjunct medication in treating MDD and am, frankly, pretty angry about the fact that you're being denied a medication which you very obviously need.
As for exercise, I'm not sure about its feasibility but I'd recommend walking as a form of exercise. Of course, depression being the bastard affliction that it is, it might not be an option at present, particularly given your current circumstances but, perhaps, in the future, it might be an option?

@ Shadow: I'm really admiring your resolve not to give in in the face of the obstacles which have appeared in your path. Like I said before, you've come a long way even in the six months or so that you've been around here. You also make some really good points in your post, some useful pointers for anyone who's struggling.
Please, please, PLEASE keep the faith - you have the strength within you to blast those obstacles out of your way - and I believe that you will.

Well, it's ... an ignorance that I had for a long time, thinking that the physical and mental work of the body and mind just didn't matter? I mean... how ignorant is that!?

I started with switching from Dubbed to Subbed anime, and trained my brain to read subtitles quicker. This a lone was the first step that I took in overcoming issues with social anxiety.

Social anxiety... depression... paranoia... schizophrenia... or whatever else it may be... is simply just what happens when the body and the mind is neglected.

The absence of conditioning the body and the mind = physical and mental illness.

It's common sense. But it took me a HELLA LONG TIME to wake up to it.

It is proven scientifically that people who exercise the body and the mind are more likely to think more positively. Whereas people who eat fast food all day, drink sugary beverages and foods, spend hours and hours online while neglecting the natural environment of the outdoors, to just about anything that is ... Artificial, will begin declining in mental health in a dark and negative way.

Also addictions cause mental illness, too. I find that my life is over 88% to my liking. But there are some addictions that I've got which send me into a downward spiral. These addictions are not so easy to just say No, too. That is why they are addictions. My body and the way I feel inside gets really ill the longer I go without feeding these addictions...  frustrated  

Problem is. They are Artificial remedies to feel better... and usually leave me feeling even worse than I did before giving into them.

This is the side of me that I hate. Because it kills my self-esteem, and then my entire reality just starts getting darker.

But the idea is to build on ones self. :3 Build on the mind... and build on the body. Because there is a saying that goes: We Repeat what we do not Repair! ^^
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Re: The Ima no Kimochi wa nani?! or What are you feeling RIGHT NOW?! PART 9

Post by Lerena on Sat Apr 08, 2017 7:02 pm

Angry, pissed off, irritated, frustrated, near the point of exploding with rage. I've about had it with this stupid fucking country and its stupid fucking healthcare system. I'll go into more detail when I'm more awake, which will be at least another couple of days. I've run out of Provigil, the medication that keeps me from being in bed for over 20 hours every day. I seriously want to destroy shit. I need the satisfaction of hearing inanimate objects break apart.

Edit - 4/9: Surprisingly, I'm having a pretty decent day. I'm still dealing with a bit of fatigue, but I spent less time in bed today. I have an unusual amount of energy right now too considering the situation I'm in. I still need the Provigil, but I'm feeling better about my plan to taper off it. I think that I only needed it due to weight-related issues and I've been losing weight, so I'm healthier now.

My only problem now is I don't know what's causing me to need Rexulti and I'm guessing the doctors have no clue either. Akira Okuzaki If I could get off Rexulti, and not fall into brain-dead territory, that would make my medication situation much easier. Unfortunately, I doubt that'll happen. I'll see what I can find at least.

So, I'm feeling better. Still a bit annoyed though.
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Re: The Ima no Kimochi wa nani?! or What are you feeling RIGHT NOW?! PART 9

Post by franticfranz on Mon Apr 10, 2017 12:03 pm

Pissed off. I've put in all the effort but it'll all be wasted. >.<
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Re: The Ima no Kimochi wa nani?! or What are you feeling RIGHT NOW?! PART 9

Post by ShadowMikoto on Mon Apr 10, 2017 1:01 pm

franticfranz wrote:Pissed off. I've put in all the effort but it'll all be wasted. >.<

^ I could pretty much copy and paste what you said here and use it as my own post, because I am feeling the same!

Everyone I've been studying with since last October are now Graduates, heading to higher sources of education while I'm just under 5% away from passing... the pre-test that qualifies me for the actual exam, which is apparently twice the size as the pre-test. X_X

I feel that... I just gotta hang on to any last shread of hope that I don't blunder now before its too late or else I'm going to be ashamed, and sad. really?
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Re: The Ima no Kimochi wa nani?! or What are you feeling RIGHT NOW?! PART 9

Post by Lerena on Thu Apr 13, 2017 11:23 pm

Pissed, but surprisingly peaceful and eerily calm.

This trope accurately conveys my feelings:
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TranquilFury

You see, a hacker legitimately shut down my best friend's computer. Said hacker changed all her passwords as well so she can't access any of her accounts and now she must spend who knows how long saving up for a new computer, which will probably mean months of not talking to her much. My best friend wouldn't give away her passwords so this must be a skilled hacker that knows his/her shit. Sadly, I can't really do anything about the situation. Since I don't know the hacker, I'm even less able to at least make him/her understand that they hurt more people than just her. I bet they thought they were doing the Internet a favor by getting rid of someone "no one" cared about. Wrong. I am upset, devastated, annoyed, frustrated, disgusted, and livid all at the same time.

She's the only person I fully trust so I hate that I can't do anything to help her, especially given the current state of my financial situation.

Unfortunately, even if I could find out the hacker, it's unlikely they possess even an ounce of emotional understanding, because my best friend's life sucks plenty as it is. I bet they don't see it that way though. They'd rather she was dead. Fucking asshole...they don't know a thing about what it's like to be human. If they did, they wouldn't have hacked her.

I still don't understand why so many people hate her.
frustrated
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Re: The Ima no Kimochi wa nani?! or What are you feeling RIGHT NOW?! PART 9

Post by Break String SpinElf on Sun Apr 16, 2017 9:50 am

Strange.
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Re: The Ima no Kimochi wa nani?! or What are you feeling RIGHT NOW?! PART 9

Post by ShadowMikoto on Mon Apr 17, 2017 8:53 am

Amazing, because I got into a Steam game the other night that is now my favorite! It's called CrossCode! :3

Lea is adorable! ^//^
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Re: The Ima no Kimochi wa nani?! or What are you feeling RIGHT NOW?! PART 9

Post by Break String SpinElf on Mon Apr 17, 2017 5:25 pm

Pretty excited about something I shall be doing a little later.
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Re: The Ima no Kimochi wa nani?! or What are you feeling RIGHT NOW?! PART 9

Post by Luu Sky Sapphire on Mon Apr 17, 2017 8:43 pm

Feeling awesome! I just LOVE Spring time. It's warm, gorgeous and just beautiful! I do A LOT more when it's anything but winter! <3

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Re: The Ima no Kimochi wa nani?! or What are you feeling RIGHT NOW?! PART 9

Post by Zweifel Marguerite on Wed Apr 19, 2017 5:18 pm

That post-anxiety calm. Yeah.
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Re: The Ima no Kimochi wa nani?! or What are you feeling RIGHT NOW?! PART 9

Post by Break String SpinElf on Fri Apr 21, 2017 3:28 pm

In need of a pee,
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Re: The Ima no Kimochi wa nani?! or What are you feeling RIGHT NOW?! PART 9

Post by ShadowMikoto on Fri Apr 21, 2017 5:36 pm

empty.
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Re: The Ima no Kimochi wa nani?! or What are you feeling RIGHT NOW?! PART 9

Post by Break String SpinElf on Sat Apr 22, 2017 2:32 pm

Strangely odd.
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Re: The Ima no Kimochi wa nani?! or What are you feeling RIGHT NOW?! PART 9

Post by Zweifel Marguerite on Sun Apr 23, 2017 1:33 pm

Not really sure...
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Re: The Ima no Kimochi wa nani?! or What are you feeling RIGHT NOW?! PART 9

Post by Break String SpinElf on Sun Apr 23, 2017 5:08 pm

Sweaty.
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Re: The Ima no Kimochi wa nani?! or What are you feeling RIGHT NOW?! PART 9

Post by Zweifel Marguerite on Sun Apr 23, 2017 5:29 pm

Still unsure.
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Re: The Ima no Kimochi wa nani?! or What are you feeling RIGHT NOW?! PART 9

Post by Break String SpinElf on Mon Apr 24, 2017 8:05 am

Somewhat akin to death kept on a low heat in an oven for five hours or so.

Zweifel Marguerite wrote:Not really sure...

...

Still unsure.
Don't sweat it, Z. I've come to the conclusion that, if I ever found a way to correctly put my finger on most of my feelings, the laws of physics would cease to apply and the universe would collapse into a state of inertness and non-being.
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Re: The Ima no Kimochi wa nani?! or What are you feeling RIGHT NOW?! PART 9

Post by Lerena on Tue Apr 25, 2017 11:49 am

I feel amazing for the most part, but I still don't understand my feelings. Then again, if I made sense, I'd probably trigger the apocalypse.
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Re: The Ima no Kimochi wa nani?! or What are you feeling RIGHT NOW?! PART 9

Post by Break String SpinElf on Tue Apr 25, 2017 1:26 pm

I feel.... sppglw.
Lerena wrote:I feel amazing for the most part, but I still don't understand my feelings. Then again, if I made sense, I'd probably trigger the apocalypse.
You and me both. If I made sense, I'd trigger the apocalypse - then probably proceed to sleep through it.
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Re: The Ima no Kimochi wa nani?! or What are you feeling RIGHT NOW?! PART 9

Post by ShadowMikoto on Wed Apr 26, 2017 3:45 pm

I am feeling decent, but a little edgy... I walked home from work, and got lost... ended up walking in the wrong direction, cut through a field, only to end up going in a complete Circle. In the rain... with a stuffy nose... Like, Come On!

But since getting into Leviathan - the last defense, it's been golden! :D
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Re: The Ima no Kimochi wa nani?! or What are you feeling RIGHT NOW?! PART 9

Post by Break String SpinElf on Thu Apr 27, 2017 1:12 pm

A bit... odd still.

ShadowMikoto wrote:I walked home from work, and got lost... ended up walking in the wrong direction, cut through a field, only to end up going in a complete Circle.
I've done that. Must've taken a 12-mile detour. Several times. On one occasion, in my defence, it was foggy and all moors round here tend to look the same in glorious weather, let alone a pea souper.
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Re: The Ima no Kimochi wa nani?! or What are you feeling RIGHT NOW?! PART 9

Post by ShadowMikoto on Fri Apr 28, 2017 4:18 pm

Break String SpinElf wrote:A bit... odd still.

ShadowMikoto wrote:I walked home from work, and got lost... ended up walking in the wrong direction, cut through a field, only to end up going in a complete Circle.
I've done that. Must've taken a 12-mile detour. Several times. On one occasion, in my defence, it was foggy and all moors round here tend to look the same in glorious weather, let alone a pea souper.

I can only imagine the adventure that must have been. <_< This is not the first time this has happened to me. It has happened so much actually throughout what has made up my life thus', that my childhood nickname was P-Chan. =.=
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Re: The Ima no Kimochi wa nani?! or What are you feeling RIGHT NOW?! PART 9

Post by Break String SpinElf on Fri Apr 28, 2017 5:10 pm

Not much.

ShadowMikoto wrote:I can only imagine the adventure that must have been. <_< This is not the first time this has happened to me. It has happened so much actually throughout what has made up my life thus', that my childhood nickname was P-Chan. =.=
Don't worry. I won't resurrect it.


P-Chan. :3
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Re: The Ima no Kimochi wa nani?! or What are you feeling RIGHT NOW?! PART 9

Post by ShadowMikoto on Fri Apr 28, 2017 6:02 pm

Break String SpinElf wrote:Not much.

ShadowMikoto wrote:I can only imagine the adventure that must have been. <_< This is not the first time this has happened to me. It has happened so much actually throughout what has made up my life thus', that   my childhood nickname was P-Chan. =.=
Don't worry. I won't resurrect it.


P-Chan. :3

Oh gosh... have I already suffered enough pain and agony by the hands of that cretin Ranma Saotome, that bastard, who not only the Curry Bread of the Day, not once, not twice, but three times!!! Who had not even showed up for the fight that was to be held at the Vacant Parking Lot outside my damn house, who could not even wait for the 4th day to come! Who had knocked me into the Spring of Drowned Japanese Black Piglet... which only amplified my sorrow and tears and despair ten-fold... despite the snuggles I get from Akane's breat!! *Wipes bleeding nostrils* ... How I've ENDURED THE PAIN AND THE EMBARRASSMENT! How I've put up with the wrestling matches that Akane physically acted out in her dreams in her bed!! Damnit!! How could such a suffering darkness as this pathetic torment be resurrected in 2017, after 17 long, painful, years of dire straights of shame and ridicule. Kill me. <_<
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