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The Panicking Lily [ShizMai fiction fun from Zweifel!]

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The Panicking Lily [ShizMai fiction fun from Zweifel!]

Post by Zweifel Marguerite on Sun Jan 19, 2014 6:31 pm



Aye!
I have been promising to write a thing for a while now, and here it finally is - a first fanfiction work by me for Mai-Series!
The inspiration for this one is Strawberry Panic! (After a long discussion how Shizuma x Nagisa resemble Shizuru and Mai, accordingly). And so this story was born. The setting and the plot will certainly remind you of the yuri masterpiece mentioned above (as this is based in that very much). An episode is about two chapters long. A chapter is divided in several parts (so this will be ongoing for a while...)
I hope no idea how often will I update it, but hopefully I will do that frequently and maybe even in an organised way.

Anyway! I hope that you will find it interesting!

Nothing else is here yet, but here is a link to my ff.net account (if somebody wants to read my stuff from my account directly) :

https://www.fanfiction.net/~healinghanyou
or

https://www.fanfiction.net/u/4480997/

HERE:

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10036229/1/The-Panicking-Lily

is the first part, which is always a disclaimer/warning/info thing. I always advise to read through it, even though nobody on this site is against women love. >:3 I still wouldn't want people to be confused and angry when everything has been explained, so read it! It has the genres, summary, all the possible/impossible pairs listed, so it's truly useful information (and it's long, so not worth re-posting here, when it's much more convenient to publish on ff.net).

And HERE:

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10036229/2/The-Panicking-Lily

is the first part of Chapter 1, entitled ''The wind of change''! I have written the whole chapter, so it's a matter of publishing it now, and I've gotten almost a quarter into the second chapter, entitled ''Troublesome'' (or that's the name for now, at least).

Enjoy your read, and I welcome well-written reviews with open hands!  Hug 


Last edited by Zweifel Marguerite on Sat Jan 25, 2014 8:17 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Re: The Panicking Lily [ShizMai fiction fun from Zweifel!]

Post by Zweifel Marguerite on Mon Jan 20, 2014 5:15 pm

Double-post to announce the next part of the chapter 1! :D

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10036229/3/The-Panicking-Lily

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Re: The Panicking Lily [ShizMai fiction fun from Zweifel!]

Post by Zweifel Marguerite on Thu Jan 23, 2014 9:58 am

The third and final part of Chapter 1 is up! Read it here:

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10036229/4/The-Panicking-Lily

Also, keep your eyes out for Chapter 2, which will appear in the nearest future, probably this weekend. :)

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Re: The Panicking Lily [ShizMai fiction fun from Zweifel!]

Post by Zweifel Marguerite on Sat Jan 25, 2014 8:19 pm

While I am not able to post the next chapter, I have to announce this story now having a cover image! Obviously, I do not own the pictures of Mai and Shizuru (I am not the original artist), I just messed around in photoshop for a bit.

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Re: The Panicking Lily [ShizMai fiction fun from Zweifel!]

Post by Zweifel Marguerite on Tue Jan 28, 2014 5:51 pm

Chapter 2: Troublesome (part 1) is up! Rather short in comparison, but still - it's here!

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10036229/5/The-Panicking-Lily

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Re: The Panicking Lily [ShizMai fiction fun from Zweifel!]

Post by Luu Sky Sapphire on Tue Jan 28, 2014 6:16 pm

YES! I HAVE MY READING MATERIAL FOR TONIGHT! Sorry I didn't read sooner, Zwei-Bird! I had a long weekend at Setsucon 2014. Time to buckle down with ShizMai~ Review coming soon here. For review spam, I'll dust off my account and copy/paste on your ff.net page.

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The law of physics: Whenever there's this much gay in one room, Shizuru manifests!
When Shizuru said "Ara" for the first time, the "Ara" broke into a thousand pieces and they all went skipping about. That was the beginning of fairies.

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Re: The Panicking Lily [ShizMai fiction fun from Zweifel!]

Post by Zweifel Marguerite on Wed Jan 29, 2014 3:56 pm

Luu Sky Sapphire wrote:YES! I HAVE MY READING MATERIAL FOR TONIGHT! Sorry I didn't read sooner, Zwei-Bird! I had a long weekend at Setsucon 2014. Time to buckle down with ShizMai~ Review coming soon here. For review spam, I'll dust off my account and copy/paste on your ff.net page.

Yay, finally somebody from the forum is checking it out as well! xDD

And I knew about you going to Setsucon, so I didn't expect you to read it until you got back. :) So it's fine.

Thank you for wanting to make a review. It's not necessary to go to ff.net to make one, I would much rather prefer receiving reviews on this thread, since it is much easier to reply that way. >:3

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Re: The Panicking Lily [ShizMai fiction fun from Zweifel!]

Post by Luu Sky Sapphire on Wed Jan 29, 2014 6:26 pm

Zweifel Marguerite wrote:Yay, finally somebody from the forum is checking it out as well! xDD

And I knew about you going to Setsucon, so I didn't expect you to read it until you got back. :)So it's fine.

Thank you for wanting to make a review. It's not necessary to go to ff.net to make one, I would much rather prefer receiving reviews on this thread, since it is much easier to reply that way. >:3

If you say so, Zwei! You're the first person from ff.net to say they prefer reviews somewhere else. Anyway, first I have to say that your story is a nice take on Mai-HiME/Otome mixed with Strawberry Panic elements. The three academy idea alone sets up for endless possibilities and character relationships. Some of which you listed in the disclaimer. The story started off without it's main character and that pleased me to no end. In all existing Mai-Series, we always see the main character introduction from the start. Here we get a sneak peek at the inner workings of Mashiro's academies and Sara. Can't go wrong with Sara as this universe's Kaichou. The entire beginning with Mai passing out from meeting Shizuru was really cute. One of the best aspects you've given to the story is Akane, I swear. Is she always going to be played as Mai's Tamao? Their interaction is a lot of fun; I was bordering on head-canon shipping these two before remembering that Shizuru will eventually win Mai's heart. X3 Shizuru's flashback in "Troublesome" was also very well done. It had an air of mystery to it.

You also have a gift for describing clothing, feelings and environment. Keep it up, Zwei-Bird!

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The law of physics: Whenever there's this much gay in one room, Shizuru manifests!
When Shizuru said "Ara" for the first time, the "Ara" broke into a thousand pieces and they all went skipping about. That was the beginning of fairies.

Luu Sky Sapphire
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Re: The Panicking Lily [ShizMai fiction fun from Zweifel!]

Post by Zweifel Marguerite on Thu Jan 30, 2014 3:27 pm

Luu Sky Sapphire wrote:
Zweifel Marguerite wrote:Yay, finally somebody from the forum is checking it out as well! xDD

And I knew about you going to Setsucon, so I didn't expect you to read it until you got back. :)So it's fine.

Thank you for wanting to make a review. It's not necessary to go to ff.net to make one, I would much rather prefer receiving reviews on this thread, since it is much easier to reply that way. >:3

If you say so, Zwei! You're the first person from ff.net to say they prefer reviews somewhere else. Anyway, first I have to say that your story is a nice take on Mai-HiME/Otome mixed with Strawberry Panic elements. The three academy idea alone sets up for endless possibilities and character relationships. Some of which you listed in the disclaimer. The story started off without it's main character and that pleased me to no end. In all existing Mai-Series, we always see the main character introduction from the start. Here we get a sneak peek at the inner workings of Mashiro's academies and Sara. Can't go wrong with Sara as this universe's Kaichou. The entire beginning with Mai passing out from meeting Shizuru was really cute. One of the best aspects you've given to the story is Akane, I swear. Is she always going to be played as Mai's Tamao? Their interaction is a lot of fun; I was bordering on head-canon shipping these two before remembering that Shizuru will eventually win Mai's heart. X3 Shizuru's flashback in "Troublesome" was also very well done. It had an air of mystery to it.

You also have a gift for describing clothing, feelings and environment. Keep it up, Zwei-Bird!

I am very happy you like it! I thought Mai-Series characters would fit very nice in the environment similar to Strawberry Panic, and I was right. :)
I know the disclaimer is kind of a spoiler for the series, but it is better to warn people of things, or else they will spazz out.
I have actually noticed that it is kind of a thing for me - I tend to start off my stories with not the main character, but by setting a mystery or appropriate environment. I do this with all of my written things, no exceptions, and I don't mind it - it never makes sense if I do otherwise. It always starts with a bit of a mystery, and the main character appears in the next bit/chapter.
I did a right thing - choosing Sara as the council president! It's not only about Mashiro and Sara - it gives you the layout of academies, tell you the council presidents and introduces the surrounding relevant to the story. I enjoyed the way I started.
Akane IS her Tamao! :D :D :D I am not sure about ''always'' part, she will have a bit of a separate story and will not be tied to Mai all of the time, purely because Akane with her character acting like Tomoe can become a little annoying, and I don't want to portray Akane as somebody annoying, because I like her and she is more than Mai's sidekick. Mai x Akane ship could work in this environment, now that I think of it. If this wasn't concentrating on ShizMai, I would make an Akane x Mai fic instead. >:3
I know I said that ShizNat won't appear in my fic, but after a bit of a thought, I realized that they could be portrayed differently - as something lingering from the past, that something happened, a relationship that didn't work, a bit of misunderstood feelings, and it's haunting Shizuru and is partly the reason why she acts so strangely sometimes, and it's up to Mai to find out and help her if she decides so.

Even more - I absolutely LOVE describing seemingly unimportant things, such as backgrounds or clothing, because that can be a hint/clue if I wish so. Also, a good portrayal of feelings and a good choice of background description help setting the right mood for the fic. Learned that in psychology sessions, so I sort of have the knowledge of how to use this information. ;P

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Re: The Panicking Lily [ShizMai fiction fun from Zweifel!]

Post by franticfranz on Thu Jan 30, 2014 10:36 pm

Zwei-bird! I just read the first chapter of your story! It's very promising! ^_^

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Re: The Panicking Lily [ShizMai fiction fun from Zweifel!]

Post by Luu Sky Sapphire on Fri Jan 31, 2014 10:52 pm

It's just that Strawberry Panic's Nagisa x Tamao subtext was always tinkered around with. And now with Mai and Akane wonderful chemistry in your story, I have a feeling we *might* get a three way romance going. :3 Oh yeah, I didn't mention this in my review: THANK YOU FOR BEING ABLE TO WORK MISS MARIA IN THERE! Strawberry Panic had their own Maria Graceburt type, only she didn't get much screen time. X3

franticfranz wrote:Zwei-bird! I just read the first chapter of your story! It's very promising! ^_^

Quite! Despite cries of OOC, Zwei-Bird sticks rather true to the source material of both anime series. It feels true, but "arranged" if that makes sense.

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The law of physics: Whenever there's this much gay in one room, Shizuru manifests!
When Shizuru said "Ara" for the first time, the "Ara" broke into a thousand pieces and they all went skipping about. That was the beginning of fairies.

Luu Sky Sapphire
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Re: The Panicking Lily [ShizMai fiction fun from Zweifel!]

Post by Zweifel Marguerite on Sun Feb 02, 2014 12:38 pm

franticfranz wrote:Zwei-bird! I just read the first chapter of your story! It's very promising! ^_^
I am happy you found it interesting enough to comment on! Any additional thoughts on it? :D

Luu Sky Sapphire wrote:It's just that Strawberry Panic's Nagisa x Tamao subtext was always tinkered around with. And now with Mai and Akane wonderful chemistry in your story, I have a feeling we *might* get a three way romance going. :3 Oh yeah, I didn't mention this in my review: THANK YOU FOR BEING ABLE TO WORK MISS MARIA IN THERE! Strawberry Panic had their own Maria Graceburt type, only she didn't get much screen time. X3

franticfranz wrote:Zwei-bird! I just read the first chapter of your story! It's very promising! ^_^

Quite! Despite cries of OOC, Zwei-Bird sticks rather true to the source material of both anime series. It feels true, but "arranged" if that makes sense.
We shall see where that three way idea of yours goes. :3

Miss Maria is not the main character of all, but it would be such a shame not to include her in the story! I would miss a golden opportunity that way. The best character of the teaching cast, alongside with Midori and Yukariko. :3

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Re: The Panicking Lily [ShizMai fiction fun from Zweifel!]

Post by Luu Sky Sapphire on Mon Feb 03, 2014 7:16 pm

Zweifel Marguerite wrote:Miss Maria is not the main character of all, but it would be such a shame not to include her in the story! I would miss a golden opportunity that way. The best character of the teaching cast, alongside with Midori and Yukariko. :3

Yukariko is another that needs a bigger role! She was a teacher in Mai-Otome yes, but we only saw her a few times accompanying Maria and constantly disciplining Arika with violence for comedy's sake. XD

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The law of physics: Whenever there's this much gay in one room, Shizuru manifests!
When Shizuru said "Ara" for the first time, the "Ara" broke into a thousand pieces and they all went skipping about. That was the beginning of fairies.

Luu Sky Sapphire
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Re: The Panicking Lily [ShizMai fiction fun from Zweifel!]

Post by Zweifel Marguerite on Sat Mar 01, 2014 9:45 am

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10036229/6/The-Panicking-Lily

I am happy to say that I am back with a new part of chapter 2. A rather short part, but it's a build-up for the next - final part of chapter 2, which is going to be very full of things.

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Re: The Panicking Lily [ShizMai fiction fun from Zweifel!]

Post by Luu Sky Sapphire on Mon Mar 03, 2014 12:35 am

Zweifel Marguerite wrote:https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10036229/6/The-Panicking-Lily

I am happy to say that I am back with a new part of chapter 2. A rather short part, but it's a build-up for the next - final part of chapter 2, which is going to be very full of things.

Alright! Thanks for the update, Zwei-Bird. My thoughts on your chibi part coming soon. I'll pretty much be here all of tomorrow thanks to yet another snow storm.  Arika Yumemiya 

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Mai-X-Project

The law of physics: Whenever there's this much gay in one room, Shizuru manifests!
When Shizuru said "Ara" for the first time, the "Ara" broke into a thousand pieces and they all went skipping about. That was the beginning of fairies.

Luu Sky Sapphire
Administrator. The Showstopper. The Headliner. The Main Event. The Icon. Mr. Mai-Series.
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Re: The Panicking Lily [ShizMai fiction fun from Zweifel!]

Post by Luu Sky Sapphire on Tue Mar 04, 2014 2:11 pm

Authorized Double Post!

Very cute part for chapter 2, Zwei-Bird. Mai is never perfect in anyone's vision of the series, so it's nice to see her goof up and get hammered by Miss Maria's strict code. XD This scene is just to establish how supportive Akane is to Mai and that Sara is trustworthy as kind for high ranking authority. It also concerns Sara that this kind girl is quickly becoming a favorite of Shizuru's. Whether Sara is worried about Shizuru planning for Mai to be some kind of rebound or just concerned that Mai could get hurt if she becomes emotionally involved...I can't wait to see what's next.

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Mai-X-Project

The law of physics: Whenever there's this much gay in one room, Shizuru manifests!
When Shizuru said "Ara" for the first time, the "Ara" broke into a thousand pieces and they all went skipping about. That was the beginning of fairies.

Luu Sky Sapphire
Administrator. The Showstopper. The Headliner. The Main Event. The Icon. Mr. Mai-Series.
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Re: The Panicking Lily [ShizMai fiction fun from Zweifel!]

Post by Zweifel Marguerite on Sat Mar 15, 2014 8:51 pm

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10036229/6/The-Panicking-Lily

I have updated the content of the previous part of the chapter. Basically, I replaced it with a better version. Razz

But more importantly - I have the next part up!

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10036229/7/The-Panicking-Lily

It is NOT the final part of Chapter 2 as I had promised, and the main reason is the fact that this part would have been way too long if I left it like one piece, so I split it in half. Part 4 is the final one, though, no joking here.

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Re: The Panicking Lily [ShizMai fiction fun from Zweifel!]

Post by Luu Sky Sapphire on Mon Mar 17, 2014 2:59 pm

Zweifel Marguerite wrote:https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10036229/6/The-Panicking-Lily

I have updated the content of the previous part of the chapter. Basically, I replaced it with a better version. Razz

But more importantly - I have the next part up!

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10036229/7/The-Panicking-Lily

It is NOT the final part of Chapter 2 as I had promised, and the main reason is the fact that this part would have been way too long if I left it like one piece, so I split it in half. Part 4 is the final one, though, no joking here.

I'm relieved that you split Chapter 2 in many parts, Zwei-Bird. When I see an entire Encyclopedia of text, I start losing interest. XD Just being honest here. 'Lily' is nicely structured so it's a more relaxing reading experience. My thoughts coming soon! Already promoted the newest content and chapter updates on MM Facebook.

 Akira 

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Mai-X-Project

The law of physics: Whenever there's this much gay in one room, Shizuru manifests!
When Shizuru said "Ara" for the first time, the "Ara" broke into a thousand pieces and they all went skipping about. That was the beginning of fairies.

Luu Sky Sapphire
Administrator. The Showstopper. The Headliner. The Main Event. The Icon. Mr. Mai-Series.
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Re: The Panicking Lily [ShizMai fiction fun from Zweifel!]

Post by Zweifel Marguerite on Wed Mar 19, 2014 12:09 pm

Luu Sky Sapphire wrote:
Zweifel Marguerite wrote:https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10036229/6/The-Panicking-Lily

I have updated the content of the previous part of the chapter. Basically, I replaced it with a better version. Razz

But more importantly - I have the next part up!

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10036229/7/The-Panicking-Lily

It is NOT the final part of Chapter 2 as I had promised, and the main reason is the fact that this part would have been way too long if I left it like one piece, so I split it in half. Part 4 is the final one, though, no joking here.

I'm relieved that you split Chapter 2 in many parts, Zwei-Bird. When I see an entire Encyclopedia of text, I start losing interest. XD Just being honest here. 'Lily' is nicely structured so it's a more relaxing reading experience. My thoughts coming soon! Already promoted the newest content and chapter updates on MM Facebook.

 Akira 

That's the exact reason! Large walls of text make me very upset, for some odd reason, and I do not want my fanfiction to be an upsetting piece of work. It is supposed to be a story, a balanced one of relaxation and a bit of humour and other things. Long texts instantly remind me of work and school, which is unpleasant, so I tend to separate them into decently sized chapters. It's not like the length of the story changes, it is just separated nicely.

I can't wait to hear your thoughts! And thank you so much for promoting my work. I didn't even knew you did that! :D Thank you. It really means a lot. :)

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Re: The Panicking Lily [ShizMai fiction fun from Zweifel!]

Post by Zweifel Marguerite on Wed Mar 19, 2014 5:29 pm

LEGIT DOUBLE POST, BECAUSE THE LAST PART OF CHAPTER 2 IS UP!

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10036229/8/The-Panicking-Lily

It's longer than usual, and Mai is extra goofy there, so you better enjoy it! ;P also, we get to meet Harukino, Nina, Erstin, Arika and Okuzaki-chan (who is suspiciously okay with being friends with someone), so it doubles the whole fun! WOO-HOOO! And, of course, Shizuru being her regular self. Wink

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Re: The Panicking Lily [ShizMai fiction fun from Zweifel!]

Post by Luu Sky Sapphire on Fri Mar 21, 2014 2:51 pm

Zweifel Marguerite wrote:That's the exact reason! Large walls of text make me very upset, for some odd reason, and I do not want my fanfiction to be an upsetting piece of work. It is supposed to be a story, a balanced one of relaxation and a bit of humour and other things. Long texts instantly remind me of work and school, which is unpleasant, so I tend to separate them into decently sized chapters. It's not like the length of the story changes, it is just separated nicely.

I can't wait to hear your thoughts! And thank you so much for promoting my work. I didn't even knew you did that! :D Thank you. It really means a lot. :)

Zweifel Marguerite wrote:LEGIT DOUBLE POST, BECAUSE THE LAST PART OF CHAPTER 2 IS UP!

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10036229/8/The-Panicking-Lily

It's longer than usual, and Mai is extra goofy there, so you better enjoy it! ;P also, we get to meet Harukino, Nina, Erstin, Arika and Okuzaki-chan (who is suspiciously okay with being friends with someone), so it doubles the whole fun! WOO-HOOO! And, of course, Shizuru being her regular self. Wink

PERFECT! The weekend is coming up, so I'll be reviewing the latest parts of chapter 2 all together! :3 Stand by for my thoughts on Sunday!

I'm most curious about Okuzaki's role and HaruKino being the darlings they are~

_________________
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The law of physics: Whenever there's this much gay in one room, Shizuru manifests!
When Shizuru said "Ara" for the first time, the "Ara" broke into a thousand pieces and they all went skipping about. That was the beginning of fairies.

Luu Sky Sapphire
Administrator. The Showstopper. The Headliner. The Main Event. The Icon. Mr. Mai-Series.
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Re: The Panicking Lily [ShizMai fiction fun from Zweifel!]

Post by Luu Sky Sapphire on Sun Mar 23, 2014 7:09 pm

As usual, I had an absolute joy reading what are now the remaining parts for The Panicking Lily's second chapter; Troublesome. The revised part 2 felt more complete than before. Unless my memory is bad, this revised edition has a tad more Sara involvement. Maybe it's just me, but I could've sworn she had an extra line or two this time.

Part 3 of Troublesome was a lot of fun to read as Zweifel captured the essence of Sunrise. Yes, Strawberry Panic is one half of the inspirations that gave birth to The Panicking Lily, but with the constant flirting going on in this chapter, it felt more like Mai-Otome's writing. With a few exceptions, the girls in Strawberry Panic, preferably the younger ones, were more friendly than flirty to each other. Here we get some clever banter between Chie and Sara which made me feel like they were seconds away from having rough sex. As usual, Mai is the belle of the ball as the entire student body is staring at her with curiosity and interest. Now there's a cameo by Miyu Greer and I have to ask the author...she's not an android in this version, is she? *wink*

We also get another reunion with Akira, Arika, Nina and Erstin. All who are curious about the girl themselves. Arika reveals that Mai is her cousin in this canon. A clever move as they're main characters and being related brings them even closer.



Chapter 4 opens with uke Mai spotting Shizuru again. She reminisces about meeting Shizuru for the first time, flustered about the idea of meeting her again.

"We may have several Tomoes here"

There's a scary thought!

Later on, Mai and Arika (as cousins) reunite and Mai is introduced to the pack of Akira, Erstin and Nina. Their quirky yet welcoming energy makes Mai feel at home, casting away any doubt she might of had in the early going. After that, Royal Windbloom's Kaichou, Haruka Armitage rises from the ashes to rant about...something! Sara on the hand is more concerned about Shizuru lately and thinks she hasn't been herself. Meanwhile, Shizuru decided it was time to pay Mai-chan a little visit after their eye contact from earlier. Thanks to her clumsiness (which Zwei writes as a character in itself), Mai found herself in Shizuru's bosom. Though an unexpected embarrassment, Mai found it an exhilarating stroke of luck.

Fantastic chapter to sort of establish as many key characters as possible. Mai is likable and Sara has all the traits of a leading woman herself. I look forward to more.

_________________
Mai-X-Project

The law of physics: Whenever there's this much gay in one room, Shizuru manifests!
When Shizuru said "Ara" for the first time, the "Ara" broke into a thousand pieces and they all went skipping about. That was the beginning of fairies.

Luu Sky Sapphire
Administrator. The Showstopper. The Headliner. The Main Event. The Icon. Mr. Mai-Series.
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Posts : 38606
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Re: The Panicking Lily [ShizMai fiction fun from Zweifel!]

Post by Zweifel Marguerite on Tue Mar 25, 2014 10:07 am

Luu Sky Sapphire wrote:
As usual, I had an absolute joy reading what are now the remaining parts for The Panicking Lily's second chapter; Troublesome. The revised part 2 felt more complete than before. Unless my memory is bad, this revised edition has a tad more Sara involvement. Maybe it's just me, but I could've sworn she had an extra line or two this time.


It is way more accurately done, that much is true. As for Sara, I actually have a feeling that she has even less lines in the revised version. But, somehow, she still manages to stay a top role. Mystery.


Part 3 of Troublesome was a lot of fun to read as Zweifel captured the essence of Sunrise. Yes, Strawberry Panic is one half of the inspirations that gave birth to The Panicking Lily, but with the constant flirting going on in this chapter, it felt more like Mai-Otome's writing. With a few exceptions, the girls in Strawberry Panic, preferably the younger ones, were more friendly than flirty to each other.

I am glad you noticed that! While the setting and a bit of the plot is based on Strawberry Panic!, the characters come from Mai-Series, after all, and it's crucial to keep them true to character because they would act a bit differently than Strawberry Panic! girls, even in this environment. People have said that it feels a lot Nagisa currently, so I am trying to bring in more Mai-Series aspects.


Here we get some clever banter between Chie and Sara which made me feel like they were seconds away from having rough sex.

You have no idea how I laughed when I read this part. :D Now...them having rough sex in the second chapter of the story is a bit of a way too optimistic thought, but we'll see where that charming interaction goes. Razz


Now there's a cameo by Miyu Greer and I have to ask the author...she's not an android in this version, is she? *wink*

I am very happy to say that she isn't. :D But, as always, she is going to be with Alyssa most of the time. And Alyssa actually has a plot role in this! So stay tuned. Razz


Arika reveals that Mai is her cousin in this canon. A clever move as they're main characters and being related brings them even closer.

It was more of a subconscious move, really. I had to have a way to introduce Lena and the rest of parent side to the story and to have a reason to concentrate on Arika as well. As you can see, everyone who has a plot point in the story is actually connected with Mai in some way or another - Takumi (brother), Akane (roommate), Shizuru (the obsessive maniac), Chie (her Oneesama). So, basically, when the plotline of Chie starts to appear, Aoi and Akira will appear as well, Sara too. Yukino has a separate point as well, which leads to Haruka development and teaching staff. So, basically, it is a way to tell a small story about everyone in the fic while still remaining concentrated on Mai, and I had to connect Arika and Lena to Mai as well, so idea of them being actually relatives immediately popped up, and I took an instant liking to it. :) Or else, if I speak of anyone not connected to Mai, it instantly seems out of place.


"We may have several Tomoes here"

There's a scary thought!

Having several Arikas to accompany them is even scarier to imagine! O:


After that, Royal Windbloom's Kaichou, Haruka Armitage rises from the ashes to rant about...something!

:Armitage:Timechairs, damn them all!
Yukino It's timetables, Haruka-chan...
Ah, you will see our lovely Haruka ranting most of the time, and the humour point is that Sara almost never considers her rants as something important enough.


Sara on the hand is more concerned about Shizuru lately and thinks she hasn't been herself.

 Flirt : Well, apparently she wasn't concerned about Shizuru that much if she spent most of her time staring at me~
 Sara : I swear, Chie, you are testing my limited patience here...


Thanks to her clumsiness (which Zwei writes as a character in itself), Mai found herself in Shizuru's bosom. Though an unexpected embarrassment, Mai found it an exhilarating stroke of luck.

I am very proud that clumsiness is one of her main traits, as it is much fun to work with. :D
 ruby : Ugh...
 Viola : Ara, ara~ There is no need to be upset about that~


Fantastic chapter to sort of establish as many key characters as possible. Mai is likable and Sara has all the traits of a leading woman herself. I look forward to more.

Thank yoooooou! I am actually very proud of this chapter, it turned out way better than I had expected, actually, an I am very happy you enjoyed it!
 Happy 

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Re: The Panicking Lily [ShizMai fiction fun from Zweifel!]

Post by Luu Sky Sapphire on Wed Mar 26, 2014 3:08 pm

Zweifel Marguerite wrote:
It was more of a subconscious move, really. I had to have a way to introduce Lena and the rest of parent side to the story and to have a reason to concentrate on Arika as well. As you can see, everyone who has a plot point in the story is actually connected with Mai in some way or another - Takumi (brother), Akane (roommate), Shizuru (the obsessive maniac), Chie (her Oneesama). So, basically, when the plotline of Chie starts to appear, Aoi and Akira will appear as well, Sara too. Yukino has a separate point as well, which leads to Haruka development and teaching staff. So, basically, it is a way to tell a small story about everyone in the fic while still remaining concentrated on Mai, and I had to connect Arika and Lena to Mai as well, so idea of them being actually relatives immediately popped up, and I took an instant liking to it. :) Or else, if I speak of anyone not connected to Mai, it instantly seems out of place.

It was a good move, really. Unlike Strawberry Panic, I'd like to explore these revised Mai-Otome characters more and what kind of people grew up with them and raised them. Gives them a lot more depth. We never get to see the outside world much in Strawberry Panic either, so the idea of flashbacks (like Mai's past) can work in your story.

Everyone should be connected to Mai in some way. I'd like to think she's the character that changes everybody's lives as the story deepens. But yes, I greatly enjoyed your works and your recent commentary. I'm telling you right now, Sara x Chie (or will it be the other way around? I dunno! Sara should be the seme again~) is my current OTP for Lily. Passion-wise. I know you'll write ShizMai eloquently enough for me to root for them as the romantic-wise couple.

Btw Zwei-( . )( . )-Bird, I'll be announcing a chatbox gathering this weekend. Hopefully you'll show up on the two chosen dates. Viola 

_________________
Mai-X-Project

The law of physics: Whenever there's this much gay in one room, Shizuru manifests!
When Shizuru said "Ara" for the first time, the "Ara" broke into a thousand pieces and they all went skipping about. That was the beginning of fairies.

Luu Sky Sapphire
Administrator. The Showstopper. The Headliner. The Main Event. The Icon. Mr. Mai-Series.
Administrator. The Showstopper. The Headliner. The Main Event. The Icon. Mr. Mai-Series.

Posts : 38606
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Re: The Panicking Lily [ShizMai fiction fun from Zweifel!]

Post by Zweifel Marguerite on Wed Mar 26, 2014 5:39 pm

Luu Sky Sapphire wrote:
Zweifel Marguerite wrote:
It was more of a subconscious move, really. I had to have a way to introduce Lena and the rest of parent side to the story and to have a reason to concentrate on Arika as well. As you can see, everyone who has a plot point in the story is actually connected with Mai in some way or another - Takumi (brother), Akane (roommate), Shizuru (the obsessive maniac), Chie (her Oneesama). So, basically, when the plotline of Chie starts to appear, Aoi and Akira will appear as well, Sara too. Yukino has a separate point as well, which leads to Haruka development and teaching staff. So, basically, it is a way to tell a small story about everyone in the fic while still remaining concentrated on Mai, and I had to connect Arika and Lena to Mai as well, so idea of them being actually relatives immediately popped up, and I took an instant liking to it. :) Or else, if I speak of anyone not connected to Mai, it instantly seems out of place.

It was a good move, really. Unlike Strawberry Panic, I'd like to explore these revised Mai-Otome characters more and what kind of people grew up with them and raised them. Gives them a lot more depth. We never get to see the outside world much in Strawberry Panic either, so the idea of flashbacks (like Mai's past) can work in your story.

Everyone should be connected to Mai in some way. I'd like to think she's the character that changes everybody's lives as the story deepens. But yes, I greatly enjoyed your works and your recent commentary.  I'm telling you right now, Sara x Chie (or will it be the other way around? I dunno! Sara should be the seme again~) is my current OTP for Lily. Passion-wise. I know you'll write ShizMai eloquently enough for me to root for them as the romantic-wise couple.

Btw Zwei-( . )( . )-Bird, I'll be announcing a chatbox gathering this weekend. Hopefully you'll show up on the two chosen dates. Viola 
There are going to be several Shizuru flashbacks as well! Don't worry, some back story will always appear.

That is the way to define Mai! She is the one to change everyone around her for the better.

Hallargher (Chie x Sara) is my OTP as well! I just love them so much. I am honestly not sure who is actually seme in this one. I think this is one of pairs where it seriously depends on the setting and the atmosphere. Usually, of course, Chie is the annoying tease, but, as the relationship progresses, I can surely imagine Sara going all like ''Hey, bitch, I'll take the lead'' take Chie by surprise. xD So it seriously depends on what is going on in the story. Makes the pair very dynamic.

Yay, a chatbox gathering! I am looking forward to that, and I really hope I will be able to attend!  Happy 

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Re: The Panicking Lily [ShizMai fiction fun from Zweifel!]

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