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Starlight - New Story (by Ashishu)

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Starlight - New Story (by Ashishu)

Post by Syralind on Wed May 15, 2013 11:32 pm

Here is the link :)

Shizuru/Natsuki
Romance/Humor/Drama
Rated M to be safe.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9284893/1/Starlight

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Re: Starlight - New Story (by Ashishu)

Post by Luu Sky Sapphire on Thu May 30, 2013 8:37 pm

Starlight is a more subtle "Mai-HiME sequel" type of story compared to the rest. It focuses a lot on Shizuru and Natsuki interaction, but mostly Shizuru. The scenes between the two, when you break it down, reek of realism. They discussed random real life issues and ask questions about each other and I love that so much. You rarely see that in other ShizNat fanfiction where Natsuki takes the time to learn more about Shizuru. There's this very quick scene where Natsuki asks Shizuru about the tradition of men paying for dates. The conversation escalates into questioning their own relationship. Wait...relationship?! Don't worry readers, Natsuki's constant flustered reaction is in like every scene in this story! XD

Starlight really plays a game of chess between Shizuru and Natsuki with them constantly thinking about each other and what to do and say next to advance their..."friendship" further. I think Ashishu aka Syralind tried to delve us deep into the psychological aspect of ShizNat with heavy chemistry. I'd love to see the rest.

I'd like to beta the second chapter if you have it ready. For now, I can honestly say chapter 1 is fine for the most part. :) You are the first yuri author to use the word 'haphazardly' in a long time, btw. Bless you for that.

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When Shizuru said "Ara" for the first time, the "Ara" broke into a thousand pieces and they all went skipping about. That was the beginning of fairies.

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Re: Starlight - New Story (by Ashishu)

Post by Syralind on Wed Jun 05, 2013 11:04 pm

Thank you for your wonderful review Luu! :) You are right that I Iike to focus on the psychological aspects of the show and its characters because I feel that both contain much more depth than its acredited by the casual watcher. What I am trying to write, in combination with psychology and chemistry, is slice-of-life with a growing plot ^^.

I'll definitely hand you my next chapter once I'm done. I'm maybe 50% done now. It's a bit more of a challenge since I'm focusing on more than two characters in the next chapter - so I'm trying to keep it as real to the characters as written in the show as possible (there's been a lot of back and forth with ideas and trying to make sure it flows well without being complicated or cheap). I'm glad I could use "haphazardly" for you lol.

I do have a question though (and this is for everyone): if I were to hypothetically write Shizuru as being able to speak English, what accent might she have (In what accent might she have learned English)? Standard American? Southern (Stick with the show)? English (British) (or maybe Australian/Scottish?Irish?)

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Re: Starlight - New Story (by Ashishu)

Post by Luu Sky Sapphire on Fri Jun 07, 2013 6:40 pm

Syralind wrote:I do have a question though (and this is for everyone): if I were to hypothetically write Shizuru as being able to speak English, what accent might she have (In what accent might she have learned English)? Standard American? Southern (Stick with the show)? English (British) (or maybe Australian/Scottish?Irish?)

English as in British. Unlike Bandai Entertainment's dub (Lone Wolf explained the decision of the Southern accent, in case you haven't read it in the other thread), a British accent is often the choice chosen/debated among fans. Try using that as a way to "what-if" your story.

To be honest, hearing Shizuru with an English accent would make the female readers squeal. :) Strongly recommend it.


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Mai-X-Project

The law of physics: Whenever there's this much gay in one room, Shizuru manifests!
When Shizuru said "Ara" for the first time, the "Ara" broke into a thousand pieces and they all went skipping about. That was the beginning of fairies.

Luu Sky Sapphire
Administrator. The Showstopper. The Headliner. The Main Event. The Icon. Mr. Mai-Series.
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Posts : 38606
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Re: Starlight - New Story (by Ashishu)

Post by Syralind on Fri Jun 07, 2013 10:57 pm

Luu Sky Sapphire wrote:
English as in British. Unlike Bandai Entertainment's dub (Lone Wolf explained the decision of the Southern accent, in case you haven't read it in the other thread), a British accent is often the choice chosen/debated among fans. Try using that as a way to "what-if" your story.

To be honest, hearing Shizuru with an English accent would make the female readers squeal. :) Strongly recommend it.

Yeah. I mean I know why Bandai uses the Southern accent in anime but I actually asked my Japanese teacher (a native of Japan) what Kyoto-ben sounds like compared to the 'standard' Japanese accent and she said it's like the British accent to our American accent. So of course I go :scratch: .

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Re: Starlight - New Story (by Ashishu)

Post by mandygirl78 on Fri Jun 07, 2013 11:42 pm

Definitely British. It worked so well with a few Anime characters, especially Yomiko Readman of R.O.D TV series.

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Re: Starlight - New Story (by Ashishu)

Post by Luu Sky Sapphire on Sun Jun 09, 2013 10:25 pm

Syralind wrote:
Yeah. I mean I know why Bandai uses the Southern accent in anime but I actually asked my Japanese teacher (a native of Japan) what Kyoto-ben sounds like compared to the 'standard' Japanese accent and she said it's like the British accent to our American accent. So of course I go :scratch: .

*laughs* Sucks doesn't it, Syra. You're hearing different opinions from good sources (not doubting your Japanese teacher or Lone Wolf). In this case though, it's best for your fanfiction to steer towards what your Japanese teacher said. Bottom line, it's hard to argue with a native of Japan. I know the reason why Bandai went along with Southern, but that doesn't make it right. Just right for the English dub we're listening to.

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Mai-X-Project

The law of physics: Whenever there's this much gay in one room, Shizuru manifests!
When Shizuru said "Ara" for the first time, the "Ara" broke into a thousand pieces and they all went skipping about. That was the beginning of fairies.

Luu Sky Sapphire
Administrator. The Showstopper. The Headliner. The Main Event. The Icon. Mr. Mai-Series.
Administrator. The Showstopper. The Headliner. The Main Event. The Icon. Mr. Mai-Series.

Posts : 38606
Bubuzuke points : 42279
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Join date : 2010-05-01
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Re: Starlight - New Story (by Ashishu)

Post by Syralind on Sat Aug 10, 2013 9:38 am

New Chapter is UP! :)

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9284893/2/Starlight

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Re: Starlight - New Story (by Ashishu)

Post by Syralind on Wed Sep 25, 2013 2:38 pm

Chapter 3 is up! :)

"Unexpected Emptiness"

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9284893/3/Starlight

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Re: Starlight - New Story (by Ashishu)

Post by Luu Sky Sapphire on Wed Sep 25, 2013 6:13 pm

Time to catch up on Starlight again, it's been a while. xD Thanks for the heads up, Syralind!

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Mai-X-Project

The law of physics: Whenever there's this much gay in one room, Shizuru manifests!
When Shizuru said "Ara" for the first time, the "Ara" broke into a thousand pieces and they all went skipping about. That was the beginning of fairies.

Luu Sky Sapphire
Administrator. The Showstopper. The Headliner. The Main Event. The Icon. Mr. Mai-Series.
Administrator. The Showstopper. The Headliner. The Main Event. The Icon. Mr. Mai-Series.

Posts : 38606
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Re: Starlight - New Story (by Ashishu)

Post by Syralind on Thu Dec 19, 2013 11:23 am

Next Chapter is up!

"Disarmed"

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9284893/4/Starlight

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Re: Starlight - New Story (by Ashishu)

Post by Luu Sky Sapphire on Sat Dec 21, 2013 5:15 pm

Syralind wrote:Next Chapter is up!

"Disarmed"

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9284893/4/Starlight

Hey Syralind! It's been a while since you *and* the last chapter! I tried leaving you a review for Unexpected Emptiness in October, but ff.net glitched on me.

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Mai-X-Project

The law of physics: Whenever there's this much gay in one room, Shizuru manifests!
When Shizuru said "Ara" for the first time, the "Ara" broke into a thousand pieces and they all went skipping about. That was the beginning of fairies.

Luu Sky Sapphire
Administrator. The Showstopper. The Headliner. The Main Event. The Icon. Mr. Mai-Series.
Administrator. The Showstopper. The Headliner. The Main Event. The Icon. Mr. Mai-Series.

Posts : 38606
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Re: Starlight - New Story (by Ashishu)

Post by Syralind on Thu May 01, 2014 11:42 am

Haha that's okay, thank you for trying!
I apologize for how long it's been taking; it may take a while for the next chapter only because I was just recently accepted into an MA program so my time has been growing more and more limited for leisure activities ^^; However, I still have my notes for the storyline so hopefully everything will be written in due (available) time :)

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Re: Starlight - New Story (by Ashishu)

Post by Luu Sky Sapphire on Thu May 08, 2014 6:20 pm

Syralind wrote:Haha that's okay, thank you for trying!
I apologize for how long it's been taking; it may take a while for the next chapter only because I was just recently accepted into an MA program so my time has been growing more and more limited for leisure activities ^^; However, I still have my notes for the storyline so hopefully everything will be written in due (available) time :)

Whoa, Syralind! Haven't see you around in a while. Listen, we all have outside world stuff to do. Complete your story whenever you get the chance. We're not going anywhere! Looking forward to it!  HiME 

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Mai-X-Project

The law of physics: Whenever there's this much gay in one room, Shizuru manifests!
When Shizuru said "Ara" for the first time, the "Ara" broke into a thousand pieces and they all went skipping about. That was the beginning of fairies.

Luu Sky Sapphire
Administrator. The Showstopper. The Headliner. The Main Event. The Icon. Mr. Mai-Series.
Administrator. The Showstopper. The Headliner. The Main Event. The Icon. Mr. Mai-Series.

Posts : 38606
Bubuzuke points : 42279
Armitage GUTS!!! : 2498
Join date : 2010-05-01
Age : 30
Location : Garderobe Academy

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Re: Starlight - New Story (by Ashishu)

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