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Genius Suzushiro?

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Genius Suzushiro?

Post by BMeph on Sun Feb 19, 2012 2:59 am

Hey guys, when I first got on my MH kick, I noticed many things in the series where my thoughts differed from the general concensus. One of those differences being: what if Haruka's disgust at Shizuru's behavior (Ep. #22) wasn't about the lesbianism per se, but about abusing the sempai/kohai relationship she has with Natsuki, not to mention the admittedly creepy idea of taking advantage of someone while unconscious?

Anyway, just to kind of belabor the point, I give you my Alternate vision of a Slice of Graduation Day, HaruKino style, titled, "Genius Suzushiro?"


Disclaimer: Sunrise owns Mai-HiME. I am not Sunrise, therefore, I do not own Mai-HiME. Q.E.D. (What is that, Latin for “Suck it, bitches”?)
Anyway, on with the show…



It’s Graduation Day at Fuuka Academy and except for the whole passing-out diplomas and congratulating advancing students thing, everything seems normal. Normal, in the sense that Fujino Shizuru is calmly sipping tea and teasing Kuga Natsuki, who is blushing furiously, and preening at the same time, while Kikukawa Yukino is trying to calm down a spastic Suzushiro Haruka. In other words, just another day on campus. However, this time, the graduating blonde lets something slip, that Yukino can’t help but correct…only this time, it’s the chestnut-haired girl that’s gotten things wrong.

“Ooh, I just don’t understand that black-haired tuber, sometimes…”
“That’s ‘truant,’ Haruka-chan.”
“Huh, oh yeah right. But seriously, is she just so shallow, so quick to just fly off on an emotional tangent?”
“Hee-hee!”
“Yuki-chan?”
“Oh, never mind, Haruka-chan, I was just thinking of a funny joke. I’m listening to you, though.”
“Oh, Kikukawa is listening (in Japanese, “Kikukawa-wa kiku ka”)?”
“What? Are you feeling okay, Haruka-chan?”
“I feel fantastic, I just graduated high school, and am ready for college! It’s a brand-new adventure, that’ll take all the courage a young girl’s got! I can do it, though, ‘cause that’s the kind of girl am I, eh?”
“Certainly, Haruka-chan, a girl of courage, that’s you.”
“Thank you, Yuki-chan. Where was I…ah yes, Kuga. I always hoped she’d hook up with Mai, they both have that pendant for being truants, but she shaped up well in the end.”
“I think you meant ‘penchant,” Haruka-chan…wait, Natsuki and Mai? You’re a MaiNat ‘shipper?”
“Sure, why not? Every cute girl should have an amethyst-eyed beauty to approximate-“
“’Appreciate,’ Haruka-chan.”
“You know what I mean, Yuki-chan.”
“I thought I knew what you meant, but…I thought you disapproved of lesbian relationships?”
“Huh? Why would you think that? Really, Yuki-chan, I’d never have thought of you as being so narrow-minded…”
“Me narrow-…no, no – what about that big dramatic speech you gave to Fujino-kaichou, about her being ‘disgusting’ and perverted, and all that?”
“She is – taking advantage of a kohai who’s weak or unconscious…that’s Rappahanockable!”
“’Reprehensible-“
“Yes, yes, you know what I meant! That bubuzuke should have been protecting her, not preying on her…ooh, it still makes me mad! I’m glad that she’s somehow been forgiven for it, but she knew better. It was never about the yuri, girl-on-girl is sweet, even a little exciting!”
“Ha…Haruka-chan!”
“Now, now, Yuki-chan. As a continuing member of the Executive Council, you must uphold the tradition of fair-mindedness, and giving justice to the powerless. If you’re uncomfortable with girls swapping a little spit, you must still remember to-“

Quickly, before Haruka could start on another long-winded speech, Yukino grabbed Haruka’s ears and kissed it away. After the kiss, Haruka looked stunned for a moment, but quickly recovered, and started to say something, so Yukino kissed her again. After the second kiss, Haruka still looked about to say something, so Yukino, smiling and shaking her head, got ready to pucker up for a third time. Haruka held up a hand, forcing Yukino’s hands back towards her side. Then Haruka smiled, grabbed Yukino and kissed her instead, with all the gusto one expects from a Suzushiro…especially this Suzushiro.
“Haruka-chan…” Yukino said softly, once she could speak again.
“Haruka-chan…” Shizuru said, pointing in disbelief.
“Haruka-chan!” Mai cheered, clapping her hands in glee.
“Haruka…-chan?!?” Natsuki cried out in utter shock.
“What? Can’t a girl kiss her best friend without somebody freaking out about it?”
Then Haruka kissed her some more.




A/N: Tell me what you think?

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Re: Genius Suzushiro?

Post by MidnightPersona on Tue Feb 21, 2012 7:57 pm

Oh my. I did enjoy this, but Haruka was... a bit out of character. Like, too out of character. Haruka isn't the type to discuss things like that with Yukino in the open, and Haruka doesn't tend to have the mindset to think of 'romance'. She's a bit dense to that and focuses more on school/Executive Committee/Student Council/Yukino. She wouldn't be around Mai or Natsuki enough to notice that there would even be a yuri chance, nor would she kiss Yukino in public like that, she's more 'private' on things like that. Also, Yukino wouldn't, even in that situation, just start attacking Haruka with kisses. She'd wait until they were alone, in private, and could enjoy the moment together. Both would desire a sense of self-fulfillment and wouldn't want anyone elses shock/opinion/etc affecting a moment. I do applaud your idea and I am sorry if I sound harsh. ^^; I'm not usually one to critique, but I do like the beginning, but Haruka and Yukino quickly lose parts of themselves, I feel, as the story progressed. Ah, mayhaps I analyze them too much or something xD But I am very picky on my HaruKino and there are just too many things that don't click for me in this. I apologize. xD And the title also doesn't make too much sense to me in context to the story. It can actually be a determent from reading.

I'm going to stop now cuz I feel bad about being so critical of a HaruKino. -.-; There need to be more of the pairing. Yeah, maybe I am just too pick.

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Re: Genius Suzushiro?

Post by BMeph on Wed Feb 22, 2012 12:34 am

MidnightPersona wrote:Oh my. I did enjoy this, but Haruka was... a bit out of character. Like, too out of character.

Mm, good to hear. I like to get feedback at a much higher rate than I ever do, but so's the Beast that is "tEh IntarwebZ".

Haruka isn't the type to discuss things like that with Yukino in the open, and Haruka doesn't tend to have the mindset to think of 'romance'. She's a bit dense to that and focuses more on school/Executive Committee/Student Council/Yukino.

Certainly she would, except, if she graduating, she no longer has that role. She may still have the desire to to see good order and discipline maintained...or, she may be feeling the relief of a faithfully-served duty properly discharged. Really, we'd have to ask her....

She wouldn't be around Mai or Natsuki enough to notice that there would even be a yuri chance, nor would she kiss Yukino in public like that, she's more 'private' on things like that. Also, Yukino wouldn't, even in that situation, just start attacking Haruka with kisses. She'd wait until they were alone, in private, and could enjoy the moment together. Both would desire a sense of self-fulfillment and wouldn't want anyone elses shock/opinion/etc affecting a moment.

I think I agree with the "privacy" comment, but mostly, I was doing this for laughs, not as any serious exposition on character. Still vastly OOC, maybe even for Armitage. I thought it was funny in a ridiculous, but not (deliberately) riduculing, way.

I do applaud your idea and I am sorry if I sound harsh. ^^; I'm not usually one to critique, but I do like the beginning, but Haruka and Yukino quickly lose parts of themselves, I feel, as the story progressed.

No problem; frankly, this is the best critique I've had yet; an honest heart-felt reaction to how the story relates to the characters. Frankly, I'm a little tickled that you felt I even got close in the beginning; I'm now re-thinking my reluctance to try another. Of course, I'll have to watch more of the originals to get a better perspective...

Ah, mayhaps I analyze them too much or something xD But I am very picky on my HaruKino and there are just too many things that don't click for me in this. I apologize. xD

Please, don't apologize, when you're right. Sure, you don't mean to offend - say that.
Please, don't be sorry for having a working brain, and a discerning eye; it's better than twenty "U SO FUNNI, LOLOLOL" comments, hands-down.

And the title also doesn't make too much sense to me in context to the story. It can actually be a determent from reading.

I liked the idea of a story where we can see how Suzushiro really is smart, as long as she isn't being driven up the wall by prostituting floutists of the law...er, I meant "profligate flouters," of course. (Thanks, Yuki-chan!)

In a way, I think -HiME missed a great opportunity with Suzushiro not being a HiME, since while Midori likes "Posing for Justice" for the fun of being a "real-life" Sentai, Haruka is the one that actually loves justice for Justice's sake.

(rubs head) Have I mentioned that I'm kind of a Haruka fan?

I'm going to stop now cuz I feel bad about being so critical of a HaruKino. -.-; There need to be more of the pairing. Yeah, maybe I am just too pick.

If you can't imagine an "okay" HaruKino story, THEN you'd be too picky. Caring about character and flow is a Good Thing.

We appreciators of the 8/3-3/8 (say, that might make a good tagline...) pairing need to worry about quality as well as quantity.

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Re: Genius Suzushiro?

Post by MidnightPersona on Wed Feb 22, 2012 6:13 pm

BMeph wrote:Mm, good to hear. I like to get feedback at a much higher rate than I ever do, but so's the Beast that is "tEh IntarwebZ".

It's hard for me NOT to give you feedback. I mean, it's HaruKino. x3

BMeph wrote:Certainly she would, except, if she graduating, she no longer has that role. She may still have the desire to to see good order and discipline maintained...or, she may be feeling the relief of a faithfully-served duty properly discharged. Really, we'd have to ask her....


Yukino still has that role, though, as she inherited her position so Haruka wouldn't want to make things harder for Miss. Kikukawa. Trust me, I have a little Haruka in my head. :p She'd be a bit less... obvious. xD

BMeph wrote:I think I agree with the "privacy" comment, but mostly, I was doing this for laughs, not as any serious exposition on character. Still vastly OOC, maybe even for Armitage. I thought it was funny in a ridiculous, but not (deliberately) riduculing, way.

Yes, but ShizNat fans (no offence, guys) tend to make enough of a fool of Haruka. It's our duty as Haruka fans to show her deeper side while maintaining hilarity!

BMeph wrote:No problem; frankly, this is the best critique I've had yet; an honest heart-felt reaction to how the story relates to the characters. Frankly, I'm a little tickled that you felt I even got close in the beginning; I'm now re-thinking my reluctance to try another. Of course, I'll have to watch more of the originals to get a better perspective...

You did better than I usually do with how they talk to each other. I usually feel I make Haruka speak too correct, but other than that I got her down. You do well with the surface level of the characters and their speech. Perhaps we should join forces. xD And trust me, if you ever have a thought about Haruka or Yukino and want a deep analysis then just ask me. xD

BMeph wrote:Please, don't apologize, when you're right. Sure, you don't mean to offend - say that.
Please, don't be sorry for having a working brain, and a discerning eye; it's better than twenty "U SO FUNNI, LOLOLOL" comments, hands-down.

Yes yes, I can have issues with wording. And thank you. I'm still getting use to my opinion being taken well. x3

BMeph wrote:I liked the idea of a story where we can see how Suzushiro really is smart, as long as she isn't being driven up the wall by prostituting floutists of the law...er, I meant "profligate flouters," of course. (Thanks, Yuki-chan!)

Lol, yes. Haruka is vastly intelligent, it just isn't shown that much. The title just seems off for the story, though. Hell, Haruka always seems the straight-A type to me x3

BMeph wrote:In a way, I think -HiME missed a great opportunity with Suzushiro not being a HiME, since while Midori likes "Posing for Justice" for the fun of being a "real-life" Sentai, Haruka is the one that actually loves justice for Justice's sake.

I agree, but I also don't. If Haruka was a HiME it would've taken away from both ShizNat character development and a bit of Yukino's. I feel it's pretty awesome to show Haruka as a BAMF without being a HiME and Yukino's struggle to keep everything from her. Also, two sets of HiME with each other as their MIP? Oh god, the Shizuru vs HaruKino would've been vastly different and Natsuki would've been idk. It'd be too complex.

BMeph wrote:(rubs head) Have I mentioned that I'm kind of a Haruka fan?

I think I gathered. ;

BMeph wrote:If you can't imagine an "okay" HaruKino story, THEN you'd be too picky. Caring about character and flow is a Good Thing.

Thanks x3 There are two HaruKino's I really like that you might as well. One's HiME verse and the other is Otome verse. x3 Both are Headcanon for me now. xD If you wanna read em I'll link to you.

BMeph wrote:We appreciators of the 8/3-3/8 (say, that might make a good tagline...) pairing need to worry about quality as well as quantity.

Heh heh. Yes, I must agree. x3 I do hope I see you do another. x3

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